satanspenislove
professorfangirl:

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.
Fucking wasps.

I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:

professorfangirl:

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.

Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.

Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.

The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.

I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.

The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.

So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.

Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.

Fucking wasps.

I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:

image

satanspenislove

inklesspen:

feliscorvus:

starry-eyed-wolfchild:

Bee Hotels for Solitary Bees

You may be wondering what bees need a hotel for, when they make their own hives. The truth is that many species of bees are solitary – the do not live in hives but instead construct their own nest. The main reason for this is because in these species every female is fertile and this would not make for comfortable communal living in a hive.

Eeeeee! That is the cutest bee face I have ever seen poking out there like “you rang?”

beeeees

satanspenislove

dickmark:

OKAY SO ALMOST 2 MONTHS AGO OUR ENGLISH TEACHER FORCED US TO ENTER A POETRY CONTEST AND I WAS ABOUT TO ENTER A POEM WHEN IT TRIED TO FORCE ME TO GIVE IT A TITLE SO IN A FIT OF RAGE I WROTE A NEW POEM COMPLAINING ABOUT THE TITLE REQUIREMENT

image

AND TODAY I WENT TO CHECK MY EMAIL AND I??????

image

YOU ARE LITERALLY PUBLISHING AN INSULT TO YOUR OWN RULES BUT OKAY I GUESS IF GETTING TALKED DOWN TO TURNS YOU ON SOMEHOW AND I GET PUBLISHED I’VE GOT NO COMPLAINTS HERE?

satanspenislove
mhd-hbd:

cancerously:

treasurewisesilliness:

This is Japan in a nutshell.  Forget all the crazy stuff with the weird tv programs and the cosplaying—that’s just the outer shell that gets attention because it’s unusual.  This, this is the beauty of the country.  I’ve had little grandmothers chase me down because I dropped my shinkansen tickets.  In amusement parks, the attendants do their upmost to get lost items (usually cardigans or kids’ shoes) back to the owners—before the owners even realize they’d lost said item(s). I’ve had complete strangers not only give my thorough directions but have offered to drive me to the place I needed to go.
It is so, so, so hard to go back to the States after you get the J-treatment. I mean, Japan has its downside (“What is this madness you call pizza???”), but the general attitudes of everyone—even the so-called hardcore yankees (two of whom who, on a blazing summer day, helped me find one of my schools when I was heinously lost in the labyrinth that is the neighborhood in which said school is located)—is the epitome of the mindset that I wish everyone would adopt. Because yelling at people gets you nowhere. And being able to empathize with people kinda helps make this country a really nice place to live in.

Okay, I don’t usually add on to posts, but let me tell you a story.
Back in 2008 I traveled to Japan with my high school, and because it was the 20 year anniversary of our “sister city” partnership, the mayor of our sister city paid for our entire group to go to Tokyo Disney Sea. We were all elated, got in when the park opened, rushed to do everything we could.
Well, there’s a little ride near the front of their Tomorrowland where you ride around on a little rollercoaster-style pod. Kind of like bumper cars meets the disney tea cup ride but it’s also in water. It’s wicked fun and even though it was November, my friends and I were all willing to go on. One of my friends was wearing a scarf her host family had knitted for her, and on one of the turns of the ride, it flew off her neck and we watched in horror as it drifted across the water and got sucked under another pod carrying people.
We get to the end of the ride and explain to the attendants what happened, and as soon as she lets slip it’s from family, they all but rocket into action. They shut down the whole ride, and not only did they get the scarf out of the machinery, they blow-dried it for us so she could wear it again. It was freaking remarkable.
People in Japan are hella nice, yo. It meant a lot then, and even 5 years later, it still means a lot now. 

Japan is so densely packed with people, that if they had american attitudes a civil war would erupt.

mhd-hbd:

cancerously:

treasurewisesilliness:

This is Japan in a nutshell.  Forget all the crazy stuff with the weird tv programs and the cosplaying—that’s just the outer shell that gets attention because it’s unusual.  This, this is the beauty of the country.  I’ve had little grandmothers chase me down because I dropped my shinkansen tickets.  In amusement parks, the attendants do their upmost to get lost items (usually cardigans or kids’ shoes) back to the owners—before the owners even realize they’d lost said item(s). I’ve had complete strangers not only give my thorough directions but have offered to drive me to the place I needed to go.

It is so, so, so hard to go back to the States after you get the J-treatment. I mean, Japan has its downside (“What is this madness you call pizza???”), but the general attitudes of everyone—even the so-called hardcore yankees (two of whom who, on a blazing summer day, helped me find one of my schools when I was heinously lost in the labyrinth that is the neighborhood in which said school is located)—is the epitome of the mindset that I wish everyone would adopt. Because yelling at people gets you nowhere. And being able to empathize with people kinda helps make this country a really nice place to live in.

Okay, I don’t usually add on to posts, but let me tell you a story.

Back in 2008 I traveled to Japan with my high school, and because it was the 20 year anniversary of our “sister city” partnership, the mayor of our sister city paid for our entire group to go to Tokyo Disney Sea. We were all elated, got in when the park opened, rushed to do everything we could.

Well, there’s a little ride near the front of their Tomorrowland where you ride around on a little rollercoaster-style pod. Kind of like bumper cars meets the disney tea cup ride but it’s also in water. It’s wicked fun and even though it was November, my friends and I were all willing to go on. One of my friends was wearing a scarf her host family had knitted for her, and on one of the turns of the ride, it flew off her neck and we watched in horror as it drifted across the water and got sucked under another pod carrying people.

We get to the end of the ride and explain to the attendants what happened, and as soon as she lets slip it’s from family, they all but rocket into action. They shut down the whole ride, and not only did they get the scarf out of the machinery, they blow-dried it for us so she could wear it again. It was freaking remarkable.

People in Japan are hella nice, yo. It meant a lot then, and even 5 years later, it still means a lot now. 

Japan is so densely packed with people, that if they had american attitudes a civil war would erupt.